Saturday, November 27, 2010

Just some thoughts

This week as I have been doing some of the readings our counselor gave us to read I came across a few things that really touched me. So, I thought I would share them with you all and maybe it will touch you as well...

Orson Scott Card: Spare rod, but not the iron one- GREAT, so true!! I think ALL parents should read this...I know I needed it =) Just click on the title of the article and it will take you to where you can read it.

Our I am also reading a book called:
  Eternal Values & Personal Growth 
 A guide on your journey 
to spiritual, emotional, 
and social wellness.

I am reading a chapter in it called Eternal Identity and Mortal Overlay. It is in one word...A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! It has awakened something in me about things that I never knew nor did I think of them in that way. But the funny thing about it all is that as I read these things it is like my spirit is jumping for joy that I am FINALLY learning all a "AH-HA" moment...does that make any sense LOL! Learning about all of this is bringing SO much peace into my life that I have sooooo needed and yearned is exciting! 

 Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home: 
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!
                                        by William Wordsworth

"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be reveled in us" (ROM. 8:18) 

"Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of they life" (D&C 25:1).

 After I read these 2 scriptures (above) it was like an understanding washed over me. Now, don't ask me to tell you what these scriptures mean...cause I can't explain it...but what I do know is that they are right and they brought me peace. 

In this book it also quotes Elder James E. Talmage and what he says about the functions of the Holy Ghost:

He is a teacher sent from the Father;...He will reveal all things necessary for the soul's advancement. Through the influences of the Holy Spirit the powers of the human mind may be quickened and increased, so that things past may be brought to remembrance. He will serve as a guide in things divine...; unfolding the mysteries of God...; sanctifying those who have been cleansed through obedience to the requirements of the Gospel; manifesting all things...

Ok, so I know what the Holy Ghost does for us...but, I guess I never thought of him in the way Elder James E Talmage describes him. I loved reading that!

I was reading one of the stories in this chapter and it was about a 16 year old girl describing her experience that helped restore her perspective about herself in God's plan. 

"New understanding transcended my warped sense of myself, and I understood my true nature as a pure, ever lasting spirit. I neither young nor old just there. I was neither good nor bad, just a steward over certain things God had seen fit to give me. I owned nothing, I needed nothing, and the problems that I felt were so exclusively and painfully mine really had no bearing on me except for what I might learn from them. It was a feeling of comfort, of peace, and a kind of relief to know so positively that I had always been loved in an everlasting, fundamental way. I understood more than I ever have before or since the wealth of meaning Jesus employed in that simple name I AM. In that moment, I knew that HE is, that I AM and that I will always be."

After I read that, I re-read it and re-read it...I GOT it! Every fiber of my being was telling me this is truth! It is like a switch was turned on in me.

It made me think of  the day when I received my Patriarchal Blessing and the feelings I felt that day. 
 May 28, 1995
I was 19 years old and getting my Patriarchal Blessing was almost like me getting Baptized. I had been in-active for about 4 years. Those 4 years were the hardest years of my life...I was SO unhappy!
My parents and I! I had put these 2 through a lot in that 4 years. Them being there for this special day meant A LOT to me!

I am making a funny face in this picture cause the missionaries were so uncomfortable getting close to me to get a picture taken ha ha! Elder Oh and Elder Foote were my guardian angels sent to help bring me back on the right path...and that they did. I am still in contact with both of them...hard to believe it was 15 years ago.
This is the Patriarch Bennion and his wife at there home right after my blessing. I didn't want to leave their home as the spirit was so strong there. They are such a special couple and made me feel so loved that day. 

I will never forget the things that were promised in my Patriarchal Blessing. I was told things about myself that in my heart I had always felt and thought to be true. It was like all this time the Spirit had been whispering this to me, like I was hearing how I felt I should be. The spirit was strong this day, it was a life changing day for me. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt I was finally starting the life Heavenly Father had wanted me to be begin.

This is another awesome book that our counselor is having us certain chapters. In a section I am reading from this book it was talking about Self-Esteem and this is what it said and in reading this little bit it has changed how I think:

Elder Maxwell taught: "Since self-esteem controls ultimately our ability to love God, to love others, and to love life, nothing is more central than our need to build justifiable self-esteem. Self-contempt is of Satan; there is NONE of it in heaven."

A couple of weeks ago our counselor asked me to make a detailed timeline of my life. All the good and bad events that have affected me in my life.
 No, this isn't my actual "Life Timeline"...but it is similar to the one I did (ha) and plus I thought it was cute.  =)

Doing my life timeline was a tough one to do. Remembering things from the past and dates when they all happened, names etc was not especially something I liked doing. BUT, I understand WHY I needed to do is all part of the healing process and a VERY necessary one! 

Once it was done and all laid out in front of me like that on paper, it was almost surreal really...hard to explain. I know it is my life, and the good and bad that has happened in it ALL belongs to me...just surreal to look back on I guess. 

Now let me say this...yes, there has been some bad things that have happened in my life...BUT, there has also been A LOT of good things that have happened in my life...A LOT!!

Can I just say how thankful we are for our counselor and all he has been teaching us. The things he gives us to read every time we go have really helped us and opened our eyes and hearts.  


Gayla Woolf Holt said...

I learned from this blog article! Your counsellor sounds like an 'angel' of sorts on your lives now. Bless you guys for going and bless him for helping you see with your spiritual eyes and feel with the heart of love.
Love you so so much.

Barb Stanford said...

You are SO right Mom...he is definitely an angel in our lives right now...probably more so for me...but I do know he is helping Kent as well. I loved how you said he is helping us see with our spiritual eyes (so true)!

Love you MORE!!!

Lynn said...

WOw. I agree with your mom. Beautiful post. I am actually crying right now.....not kidding. Probably because I can totally relate to you in SO many ways. The quotes and insights you shared are fantastic. Thanks Barb for always being you. Open, honest and real. You are amazing. And thanks for sharing what you learn with others. I guess that's why we have to go through some of those hard times, so we can help others who have been there and done that. Right? ; D