Thursday, November 17, 2011

Cole and answered prayers...

Our sweet Cole has been struggling with some things and we were talking about prayer and the purpose of it as he had made the comment to me, 

"why should I pray and ask for Heavenly Father's help when in the end I have to do it on my own anyways. He has never answered my prayers." 

My heart sank when Cole said this and in my head I was SCREAMING NOOOOOOO!!! All I could think was here we go and how am I supposed to answer this?? We talked, very calmly about prayer and the purpose of it and how sometimes it doesn't feel like our prayers get answered because they don't get answered the way we would like them to or as fast and sometimes it really doesn't feel like they get answered...but then you can look back and realize they did. 

Cole told me, it isn't that he doesn't believe in prayer and Heavenly Father cause he does...but that he just doesn't have a testimony of prayer as nothing has happened to him where he has seen it work for him. I smiled at him and told him that I know his prayers have been answered he just doesn't remember or realize they have been and to think back when he has prayed. I told him that is why we are to keep a journal so we can write things down so we have them to look back on and remember what we have felt and been through. He nodded his head and said that made sense. 

I asked him if it was ok if he did Family Home Evening on Sunday and to do it on Prayer. He looked a little surprised...I told him I thought it would be a good way for him to learn about Prayer this way and how it works. He said he would do it and he even wanted to make the dessert as he has been learning to bake in school...I said go for it!

Cole making his Apple Crumb was good!

After Cole left my room I got on my knees and prayed for my son and I cried and cried as I poured my heart out to Heavenly Father. Cole is a good boy and struggles with so much. How I wish I could do it all for him and take all the hurt and pain away! He is at such a tender age where the littlest thing can change his hope, faith and decision making in his life.

Cole and I got on the computer together and read many stories about prayer and things he could do to teach the little ones about prayer. He was excited once he got it all put together and figured out. He did a great job giving the Family Home Evening lesson on prayer! Afterwards he came to me and he was smiling and said, 

"Ok Mom, I got it, I understand." 

I smiled at him and hugged him and told him he did a great job and that I was proud of him. I told him that throughout his life he will have doubts every now and again and that is when he needs to dig deep and hold on to what he knows to be true and learn as much as he can. He then said, 

"it isn't that I don't believe in prayer and Heavenly Father it's just that I know you know it and believe it and that is what I am holding onto and following you right now." 

I was SHOCKED when he said this to me. As this months Visiting Teaching Message was about that very thing...the Stripling Warriors and their Mothers and how they said, 

"we do not doubt our Mothers knew it." 
(Alma 56:48)

When we had given the Visiting Teaching message I remember thinking, can my kids say that about me...that they do not doubt that I (their Mom) knew it? I wasn't sure they could actually say that about me or not...and here was Cole telling me he knows I know it and is going off of my testimony. My soul jumped for joy and I was thrilled to know hear and know that!

Cole told me he had forgotten about a few times his prayers had been when he prayed that he would be able to feel his Papa's presence when he turned 12 and was given the Priesthood. He said, 

"Mom, I knew Papa was there, I could feel him like he was right beside me with his hand on my shoulder. So my prayers were answered then."

I love this boy! He is such a deep thinker and so tender hearted.  We want so badly to wrap him in a bubble and protect him, but we can't so we are trying desperately to teach him how to face and deal with the challenges that come his way. He is only 13 1/2 years old...and going through so much already. My heart and soul hurt watching him go through all this...Heavenly Father knows us perfectly and can take all our pain away we just have to let him in. Sounds so simple doesn't it :)

I saw this saying on Pinterest and thought wow, that is so true!! I am going to remember this and ask myself this question each time I am worrying out loud...which I tend to do  :)

I am VERY aware that this is just the beginning with all this kind of stuff and our kids...and that is what frightens me the most. BUT, I do know that all we can do is our best, our part and then leave the rest up to Heavenly Father...