Just some thoughts

The past few weeks have been hard emotionally for me and I was at a turmoil as to why. I have been feeling like I have been just barely hanging on lately. I have had alot of pity parties for myself and cried and said "poor me"...I am tired of that! SO then, I thought well. maybe I need to be medicated, maybe I am depressed?! I have suffered from depression before so maybe I am. Then I talked to my Mom who listened and then she talked to my sister Emily who called to see how I was doing. She gave me some WONDERFUL much needed advice that I would like to share...

Emily told me that maybe I do need "actual medication" if I am depressed, but, before I resort to that do what she suggests first and try her type of "anti-depressant" first. She said that just because I am sad and struggling in my life right now doesn't mean I am depressed it may mean my spirit is lacking in what it is needing therefore it is starving and sad. We were spiritual beings LONG before we were human beings so we need to make sure we are feeding our spirit spiritual to keep it in tune and happy. She told me to do the basics (which are often the hardest to do)...every morning after I get the boys off to school or before the kids wake up, take time to say my morning prayers and read my scriptures OR an uplifting message/story. Doing this will help my day run smoother and more calmly. Make sure I do this in the evening as well and/or whenever I am needing to...whenever I am feeling turmoil.

As I listened to her it was like a light went off in me as I knew that was exactly what I was needing. It is all basic and we are told to do that all the time...but as a Mom I put myself last and don't take time to do things for me...especially important things like that. I knew if I would just do these simple things I would feel more peace in my life and my days would run smoother...or at least I would be able to face each day more positively. So I have been doing this for about a week now. I feel like I have taken a deep breath and that a calming hand has been put on me each day. I tend to get worked up easy and stressed out. I take things VERY personally and I don't know how to let "things" go especially when I feel hurt or offended or whatever it may be. So therefore it eats away at me.

A couple of years ago there was the most awesome conference talk I can't remember what it was called or who gave it but I remember him saying Choose not to be offended and say that to yourself whenever you feel yourself starting to be offended by someone. I have found ever since that talk that I have repeated that over and over in my mind when I can feel myself starting to feel offended. As my Mom just taught in her RS...you hold up your hand and you have 5 fingers each finger represents a word...It just doesn't really matter and then you throw it away and let it go! I have been doing this and it really does help me to put things into prospective.

I went to my Dr and talked to her about the whole situation and to see what she would say. She said I am definitely NOT depressed, but that she thinks I would benefit from some counselling. So I can be given the tools I am needing to set boundaries in my life. I was relieved to hear my sister was right...I knew she was, just wanted to cover all my bases LOL. Depression is a scary thing and I don't wish it on anyone!

I truly believe EVERYONE needs some type of counselling in there lives. Counselling is often looked down upon...like something is wrong with you if you are needing it. I am here to tell you NOT TRUE!! Counselling is such a good outlet and I am not embarrassed to say I have had it on and off in my life and it has been a HUGE support for me. At certain points in my life I can tell when I am needing it again to help me work through things that are going on and to give me the tools I am needing to be able to live a full and happy life.

Picture on our wall...

It says:
Sometimes god calms the storms and sometimes he lets the storm rage and calms his child.

It is hard to see the picture, but it is a picture of a light house with a person standing in the door way as the storm is raging all around it. I saw this picture in our church book store and I knew I had to have it. I can relate a lot to it and it helps gives me peace when I feel like things are out of control in my life.

Music... Since I was a child I have LOVED music...especially music that has meaning and that touches my heart in some way. I find that when I am down if I put on some uplifting church music then it helps change my mood very quickly. So lately I have been singing my heart out (when no one is home but poor Brynley that is ha ha) and I have been enjoying having music constantly playing in my home. I love the spirit it brings into our home! It is very calming and does me good when it is on =)

Some of my favorites church singer/song writers are:
Michael McLean, Hilary Weeks, Kenneth Cope, Wayne Burton, Natalie Grant

What are some of your favorites that I can add to my list of songs to listen to? What songs help you or uplift you?

I have a long ways to go to figure out what Heavenly Father is wanting me to accomplish on this earth and become all he wants me to become. This life is a journey and it will be what I make it! But, I know if I see myself the way HE sees me and love myself the way HE loves me then the road won't be so rough. I often tell myself in my mind when I am getting discouraged I am a Child of God and HE loves ME...he has a plan for me! Now, it is up to me to follow that plan and to fulfill it. Sometimes the best medicine is to NOT focus on yourself and to serve others and focus on someone else and give of yourself...that is usually what helps me feel better!

My challenge to you...

1)How often do we "think certain things" and not ever say them to people...or want to help them but we don't?

2)How about making eye contact with someone who normally people would walk by and ignore? I know what that is like, so I try to make sure I make eye contact with them and say hello and smile.

3)Give someone a compliment if you are thinking it...tell them!

How often do we all like compliments and then we think "oh what a cute baby, or I like her hair, or you are doing a good job I know its tough (to a Mom with a screaming baby).

4)We need to actually say these things when we are thinking them...uplift that person by giving them that help or compliment.

I try to do this and my son Cole says, "Mom you get that from Grandma Gayla cause she does that kind of stuff too." He is right, I do get that from my Mom. She has taught me to think of others and to be kind...I try, I really do. Sometimes I think I try so hard that I offend people and I get misunderstood a lot. I care a lot about people and how they feel and how others feel.

The other day I had just walked into the Dr office holding Brynley. I was struggling with Brynley as she was crying in my arms and squirming and trying to get down as I was standing holding her trying to zip shut the diaper bag so everything didn't fall out of it. This old lady walked over to me took Brynley out of my arms and said, "give her to me precious so you can do what you are trying to do." I was shocked, but grateful for her help as I was at my breaking point...she could probably tell =) It had been 3 straight nights of NO sleep with Bryn as she was sick and we were EXHAUSTED! This lady coming and just holding Brynley literally for a minute for me was a HUGE help!! As simple as it was, it was the kindest gesture...it was what I was needing at that moment to calm me and help me get re-focused. Brynley calmed down and just stared at this lady holding her. This lady talked to Brynley so softly and calmly asking her what the matter was and to be kind to her Mummy. I literally had to hold back the tears as I truly was SO overwhelmed and tired! Her simple act of kindness had a big impact on me and how the rest of my day went. AND it showed me how important it is to not just think of others...but actually HELP them! You don't know the difference it will make in some one's day or life!

I think we all get SO caught up in our own lives, that we can become self absorbed. It is very easy to do...but it isn't a good thing. We were put on this earth to Love One Another and live the life that Heavenly Father would want us to live. It is a daily thing we all need to work on.

So, I apologize to whoever is reading this and I may have offended you at some point as that was truly never my intention!

Thank you to my sister Emily and my Mom for their much needed love and support!

When I had thanked my Mom originally she said:

"that is what family is for...to hug you in our hearts even far away!

HOCKEY IS D-O-N-E!!!

Yes I am a little bit thrilled that hockey is done for the boys (ha)! This year hasn't been that great for either of the boys teams. Both of them were ready for it to be done as well. So now for a break until September...(deep sigh) ha ha!!

These are the fronts and the backs of the boys hockey cards with all their information on them that they hand out to whomever they want to have them.

Cole

Cole had his friend Tyler Boyd over for the weekend of March 19-21. I didn't get any pictures of these two...DARN!! They went to a Fireside together in Calgary Friday night (March 19) and really enjoyed themselves. A 2010 Canadian Olympic Bobsledder spoke and he had his Bronze medal there and even let the kids hold it. The boys said it was VERY heavy! And that the Olympian called it his "giant penny."

David Bissett, from Edmonton.

He is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

The next morning, (Saturday, March 20th) Cole and Tyler had to be in Airdrie at 9:00 am as they were taking a babysitting course together at the Recreation Centre there. It went until 5pm so it was a LONG day for them. But they said they learned lot's and had fun anyways. They were the only 2 boys (which is what I figured) so I am glad they at least had each other. Now they are both ready to babysit when needed...and they are looking forward to it.

On Sunday, March 21 Cole gave his first talk in Sacrament. It was on the Atonement and what it meant to him as a youth. We made sure his talk was "his" point of view and not ours. That it was his words and his thoughts. Me being a nervous Mom I was very anxious for Cole to give his talk and very worried to say the least...more than Cole! Cole was not bothered by it not in the least bit...which I am SO glad he got that from his Dad =) He was calm and ready to give it like it was no big deal. He was so comfortable up there giving his talk...I was pleasantly surprised and a very proud Mama! At the beginning of the year as a family we made a goal that we would all at some point this year bear our testimonies in church. Cole was the first one to do it as he did it at the end of his talk. It was nice to hear him bear is testimony as this was the first time we had heard it and he had given it =) He had a lot of people in tears (grown men even) as he talked about his Papa in his talk and his testimony. A lot of people came to us saying how moved they were by his talk and his testimony...and a lot of people told Cole as well...which made him pretty happy! His buddy Tyler said he did a good job as well...I am glad Tyler was there for it. After church Cole said, "now it is your guys turn to bear your testimonies" Kent and I laughed and said, "remember we have all year!" ha ha...darn kids keep us on our toes =)

Boyd Family

Tyler's Dad (Brian) and the other 3 kids came out to our house Sunday afternoon to pick up Tyler. They played and had supper. It was nice to visit with Brian and see the kids. Brian is such a good Dad and such a good example to his kids.

Tyson

Tyson was one proud boy when he woke up Monday (March 15th) morning and he had a black eye. We had gone to Kent's Mom's ward on the Sunday (March 14th) to listen to her give her mission talk. Afterwards we all went to Deb's for dinner. There was a lot of people and kids there. Tyson got a remote thrown at his face by one of the little kids. It hit him right under his eye and therefore resulted in bruising...which Ty thought was "AWESOME!"

Tyson with is FIRST black eye

(hardly there, but it is there...and to a boy that is all that matters ha ha!)

Date night- Flames Game
(Friday, March 19)

Kent and I went to the Flames game together a couple of Fridays ago (March 19) for our date night. Tyson and Brynley went to Jeff and Melanies house to be babysat and Cole and Tyler were at the Fireside and more than happy to be home alone once they did get home. It was such an exciting game and such a fun atmosphere to be in. Everyone was pumped and the crowd was loud! The Flames won so that made it even better. While we were there Kent ended up winning 6 Hitmen tickets to there game that was the next evening. We had to make some quick decisions on who to bring and what to do next ha ha!

Report Card...Tyson brought home his report card on Friday, March 19 and he is doing very well and improving in all the areas his teacher wanted him to. They also had a big Math test and Ty got 80 out of 80...100%!!!! Not sure where he gets his Math smarts from but it definitely didn't come from us ha ha ha!! As a reward for his Math test marks he got to go pick out a "stuffie" and have it made. He still likes "stuffies" and I am going to enjoy it while it lasts. I love that Tyson is still at that naive and innocent age...it isn't going to last much longer so I am going to hold on to it while I can. As a reward for doing so well on his report card we took him out with us Saturday night (and he got to invite a friend-Gavin) to the Hitmen game. They got to eat a ton of food and they had SO much fun together at the game.

Ty and his "stuffie" a penguin he picked out

The Hitmen Game

(Saturday, March 20)

We were able to get a babysitter again for the 2nd night in a row for Brynley...my sister Tessa from Edmonton! That is right she came from Edmonton...ok, ok she was on her way to Cardston and I got wind of it from my parents who knew we were needing a babysitter and they said, "call and ask if she will do it and stay over night and then she can come down Saturday morning." She was on her way down to Cardston to help our parents with things around there house that they are trying to get done before they leave on their mission. I felt quilty asking Tessa, but she was willing to do it...plus she is SO good with the kids and they don't get to see her very often. Before we left the house (once again I forgot to take pictures) I could hear Bryn giggling, running around, nurf guns going off all over the place and Tyson, Gavin and Tessa all laughing. So I stopped getting ready to go out to see what they were doing...yep, Tessa and the boys were shooting each other with the nurf guns. To be honest I don't know who was having more fun...Tessa or the boys ha ha! She is an awesome Aunt!! The boys don't get time spent with them by there Aunts and Uncles so Tyson thought this was "WICKED!" He couldn't believe she was playing with them like this.

Tyson and his buddy Gavin wearing the Hitmen masks the staff was handing out at the Saddledome. The boys seats weren't right beside us (which they thought was GREAT). It was on the same row as us but at the other end. I will admit I was a little nervous about that...but they were as happy as they could be and they behaved!

The boys blowing there blow horns they bought. I am sure the people around them would have like to beat them with the blow horns LOL!

We invited Kent's cousin Dean and his wife Shiobhan to come with us. Is was nice to get out with them and visit. We had a good time. The game was definitely not as fun as the Flames game. But hey it was an evening out and I got a break from the kids 2 nights in a row so I am NOT complaining. LOL!!

Brynley- 17 months old

Where to begin with this busy littel girl. She is such a soother/suckie baby. I am trying hard to NOT let her have it every minute of the day. But the girl knows when it is missing and then...well, lets just say your ears start ringing as she screams for it when we try to distract her. Little by little she doesn't have it as much...but she does still have it A LOT!! We are trying to get her only to use it a bed time/nap time...so we shall see.

She melts our hearts..."our" meaning all of us...Kent, Me, Cole and Tyson...and she knows it! She has us laughing and dancing with her in the kitchen on a daily basis. The girl can't go by any music playing without bouncing and dancing to it...so cute! She is a dancer that is for sure.

Brynley is on the mend from ear infections. We went 3 nights in a row with NO SLEEP!! I thought I was going to cry...seriously I almost did a couple of times....true story! It was exhausting and I know she was hurting and she was so tired as well. But then during the day she wasn't napping well either....UGH, it was PAINFUL to say the least! Kent was wonderful and so helpful with EVERYTHING. The house was neglected big time as I had no energy and a sick little girl in my arms most of the day. So I really wasn't able to get much else done. Kent would come home from work and just do what I couldn't do...LOVE HIM!! He even came home with a dozen red and white roses one of the days (again no picture...CRAAAAAPP). It made me cry, he is so thoughtful!

She is growing SO fast! Going out with her is exhausting as she doesn't like to sit in the cart or stroller anymore. She wants to be out walking around and has to touch everything. BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!!! Most nights I am ready to pass out in bed from exhasution by 9:00 p.m. LOL! She is starting to be VERY chatty. We don't understand what she is saying most of the time...but she is definitely saying something. She uses her hands and shoulders and head and babbles away...so funny! One day I was on the computer and she came into the computer room saying very loudly, "Mama, Mommy, Ma!" She was scolding me about something and then walked out of the room...I laughed and laughed! She has been SO good for all of us =)

Happy St. Patrick's Day...Happy Birthday Dakota!!

St. Patrick's Day has a whole different meaning in my life than it does for everyone else in the world. St. Patrick's Day marks the Birthday of our foster daughter Dakota...she is 8 years old!!

Dakota came into our lives 8 years ago today (March 19th, 2002) is when we first met her. We got a phone call from our social worker saying a baby girl had just been born on St. Patrick's Day 2 days earlier. She was addicted to cocaine since her Mom had done drugs while pregnant. Originally we had told our foster agency that we didn't want any babies only kids 3 years old up to the age of 8. Tyson at the time was only 18 months old and Cole was 4 years old so we didn't want anything younger as it would stress me out too much.

Weeeell....when Kent and I were first trying to decide whether or not to foster we were both praying about it to see if it was the right thing for us. One night I had a dream that we got a call from our social worker saying they had a baby girl that had TONS of hair needing to come to our home. I remember waking up smiling and telling Kent about this dream. He said, "well, that won't happen since we aren't taking babies." I agreed and never thought of it again....

That is until about 5 months later when we got a phone call about a baby girl that had just been born addicted to cocaine. Our social worker told me she knew we didn't want babies but couldn't get us out of her mind and had to call and ask us first. I told her I needed to call Kent and talk to him first and that I would call her right back.

I hung up the phone and my heart was racing and I felt almost like I needed to hurry and call Kent, I was almost panicked. I thought that was strange and didn't understand why I was feeling this way. I called Kent and told him about the baby girl and he was quiet. I told him how I was feeling, but I also told him that I didn't know if we really could handle this baby since she was born a cocaine baby. They have serious health issues (sometimes) and go through HORRIBLE with drawl just like the addicts would and it is very painful for them. Kent told me it was up to me as he just didn't know.

I hung up with Kent and went and prayed about it as it was such a huge decision to make. Before I even knelt down to pray I felt this overwhelming tingling all over and to be honest I knew then, but I still felt a prayer was needed. I knew without a shadow of doubt she was to come to our home. I jumped up off my knees called Kent with SO much excitement and told him I really believed we were to be there for this baby and we could do it! He agreed and I called the social worker back and she said we could come and meet the baby. I was SO excited!!!

Dakota

(this is the name her birth parents gave her)

Born March 17, 2002

7 1/2 pounds 1/2 oz.

3:02 p.m.

Baby Dakota- 2 days old (March 19th, 2002)

I will never forget when I walked into her hospital room (they had her in her own room for protection from her parents finding her) and saw her for the first time. I couldn't believe it...there was the baby girl that I dreamt about so many months ago. She was beautiful and had TONS of crazy hair! The very tips of her hair on the top of her head were blonde and it looked like she had them highlighted....so cute! She was real, a little angel laying before me waiting for us. My heart was racing and I started to cry as I could feel that we were meant to have her in our lives and that she needed us...the spirit was so strong and present. She was only 2 days old! I had bought her a cute colorful teddy bear and brought it with me.

The nurses were wonderful and said, "go ahead, you can hold your baby girl." It was shocking to hear them call her "my baby girl" but I have to admit I LOVED the sound of it =) It was such a surreal feeling as I knew I hadn't given birth to her, but I really felt such a connection to her, like I had been waiting for her and she was FINALLY here!

So far Dakota hadn't shown any signs of with drawl from the cocaine...but that didn't mean she wouldn't anytime now.

Taking Dakota home- 3 days old

I had quickly gathered clothing up for her from friends and family and everything I needed before we were to bring her home (I had 1 day to get it all together). My cousin Natalie was wonderful as she let me borrow most things I needed from her. We were able to bring Dakota home July 20th 2002 when she was 3 days old. The boys melted when they saw her. They each took turns holding and kissing her.

That first evening as Kent and I sat in our living room holding her and watching her with only a dimmed light on (the boys were sleeping) I asked Kent to give her a blessing so we would be able to take care of her the way Heavenly Father needed us to. I was terrified of this baby as we just didn't know health wise what to expect. I felt incredible peace as he gave this precious baby a blessing...I knew all would be well and that we weren't alone in taking care of her...Heavenly Father was very aware!

Dakota had SO much hair and it was often wet from Tyson kissing her ha ha! He was so little (18 months old) but he just couldn't stop loving her. We really had to watch her when he was around. Cole too just couldn't get enough of her and was so helpful.

Tyson couldn't say Dakota so I asked the boys what we should call her.

Cole said, "we should call her Star cause she is our shining Star!"

I loved it and I looked at Tyson and said, "Ty say Star"...and he yelled Staaaww!!

It was the cutest thing I had ever heard.

Dakota's Song...

This song was introduced to me shortly after Dakota came into our lives and we had nicknamed her "Star"...it was perfect!

Child of Heaven

(this song is playing on my blog page right now)

vocal by Terra Jayne Aneca

You may not set the world on fire,

or win every heart

You may not see your every desired fulfilled,

right from the start

You may not find a world of acceptance

But neither will I

You are more than you ever imagined

A STAR in the sky

But if all my words are in vain,

You must know one thing...

(CHORUS)

You are a Child of Heaven, nothing less

There is so much you've been given

and your are blessed

A distant STAR

that shines the whole night through

That is what I see in you

This old world has a lot of confusion

and it's so unkind

So we give up, what's the use trying

Time after time?

We did not come here to lose

Reach for the power inside of you

(REPEAT CHORUS)

A distant STAR

that shines the whole night through

That's what I see in you

by Wayne Burton

I played that song for Dakota a lot in our home or when I was driving. It really touched me and how I felt towards Dakota! She truly was our "shining star."

All 4 of us loving our Dakota (Star)!

Man, look at how young and skinny Kent is in that picture ha ha...and look at me, WOW have we changed. The boys are so little and man have they grown...it makes me wish I could see our Dakota and see how much she too has changed and grown...I can only imagine =)

Dakota was such a good baby and so content! She definitely liked to be held and wanted lot's of attention...which we were all too happy to give her =)

I had met with Dakota's birth parents a couple of different times. Legally they were aloud to see her as long as I was there and the social worker. This couple had other kids from other relationships and those kids were also taken away from them. This couple were both in there 40's so it wasn't like they were young and stupid...they just kept making really bad choices. They really liked me and they knew they weren't going to get Dakota back as they weren't willing to make the changes necessary to do so. So they asked me if I was going to try to adopt her and I told them we would really like to have her as we do love her like our own...they were happy about that.

Once we knew noone was coming forward family wise to take Dakota (since her parents weren't able to have her) we got the ok from the social worker to put in our paper work to legally adopt her. We were THRILLED that is was all a go...

The call...

I got a shocking call Tuesday July 23/02 from our social worker that Dakota was going to be leaving us. The Social worker was in tears and so upset on the phone...I think she was just as shocked. She knew how hard this was going to be for us...and she knew how much we loved Dakota and how we had hoped to adopt her.

I was numb and in shock that she was going to be leaving in 3 short days. I felt like I was losing my own child...I didn't know how I was going to be able to let her go...how do you let a child go that you feel is truly your own and is supposed to be with you?! I didn't have a choice. As the people who have loved Dakota and the only family Dakota knew we had NO CHOICE in her well being anymore. It was heart breaking! I found myself holding her crying. She was looking at me with those big blue eyes and smiling. As I looked into her eyes I knew that she knew how much we loved her...it just hurt to know that she would never know us or remember us.

The Aunt and Uncle that were taking her wanted NO contact. That was devastating for me as I just wanted to hear how she was doing every now and again...to know how she was doing. I tried to be understanding of them and there situation...they looked at us as the enemy. So I wrote them a letter explaining everything we knew about Dakota to help them out. I tucked in in her diaper bag with all of the belongings that were going with her. I also told them that we aren't the enemy that we loved her deeply. We have never heard from them...not surprising I guess.

Dakota left our home Friday July 26, 2002

Cole and Dakota saying Bye

Cole held Dakota and I told him it was time to say goodbye to her.

(we had explained it all to Cole previously so he wouldn't be confused).

He held her and hugged and kissed her and said, "bye Star, remember, I love you to Forever!"

The Social Worker and I had tears streaming as we watched him say bye and heard him say that to her. We as a family always played the "I Love You game." You say I love you to the moon and they will say I love you to the stars etc.. So it was touching to hear him say that to her. I wanted so badly to grab her and run and not let them take her from us...it was killing me to watch Cole say goodbye and feel what I was feeling.

Me holding Dakota for the last time and saying my goodbyes to her...I was numb!

Dakota all ready to go!

I miss my girl...my "Star!" I think of her often and wonder what she looks like, is she happy, is healthy and getting the love she needs and deserves? I have to have Faith that she is happy and healthy and that all is well with her as it is out of our hands.

Remembering...When she was with us for only a few days she had stopped breathing (she was breathing too shallow). When I looked at her she was blue and I grabbed her out of her bouncy chair and started doing CPR on her and calling 911 at the same time. She was like a little rag doll. The Fire Dept came quickly.

In the mean time Kent was supposed to be out of town working. He had been delayed and was driving in our area of the city when he got this overwhelming feeling to hurry home. So he did and as he drove up much to his horror he saw fire trucks and an ambulance in front of our home and the front door wide open. He had barely parked his vehicle when he had jumped out of his truck and came running into the house (when had just lost our home to a fire 8 months earlier). I was shocked to see him standing there as we (the firemen and I) were kneeling on the ground finally getting Dakota to breath. In the end she was fine, just needed to take deeper breaths. This was a "typical" thing for cocaine babies to do the Dr said. We were terrified of her doing it again, but thankfully she never did.

Newborn Dakota back in the hospital after she had stopped breathing.

Looking back I know that when Kent gave her that blessing the first evening she was with us, it was all part of the plan for this precious baby girl. It helped us be in tune with the spirit (like Kent getting the feeling to hurry home when Dakota had stopped breathing.) Dakota never did go through ANY type of withdrawls from the cocaine. And she had been checked out by the Health nurses a few times in her 4 months she was with us and she was on target with all she was supposed to be doing at every stage she was at so far. I am SO incrediably thankful for the power of the Priesthood!

Heavenly Father knew what was to come and through him we are able to carry on...able to let her go! I don't know who needed who more...her needing us or us needing her in our lives. I have learned A LOT when she came into our lives and I don't regret it at all. There is alot of hurt and sadness at times, but I would rather have that, then not to have had her in our lives at all. I am amazed and so thankful Heavenly Father led her to us for that brief time and trusted us with this precious little angel! She was such a blessing and a joy to have in our lives and in our home.

I can't believe she is 8 years old now. Ohhhhh how I wish to just see her...so, I then go to my thoughts and my prayers. I don't know if ever our paths will cross again...I hope they do, as I want her to know how loved she was by us. I kept her hospital bracelet, her little hair bow I had in her hair the day she came home and a teddy bear...plus all these pictures of her first 4 months of life.

HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY SWEET GIRL!!!

XOXO We miss you and love you So much XOXO

Words can't express...

Ok ladies, I know you are wishing this was your husband...but, he is MINE ALL MINE! This sexy beast is my dear sweet husband at his son's hockey game. One of the hockey Mom's was handing out these wigs for parents to wear and this is what I had to sit next to the whole game...try NOT to be jealous!!! One day your Prince Charming will come....mine sure did! (bwhahahaha)

Random pictures

I couldn't remember if I had already posted these pictures or not so if I did bear with me. Brynley adores her "stuffies and Dollies." This is how she watches her shows and hangs out. She is one content little girl as long as she has a stuffie/dollie, her blanket, soother and cup. High maintenance I say NOT!? (ha ha)

Brynley hanging out in the van in her car seat. She likes wearing my sun glasses. The top picture is my favorite with her foot sticking straight out...little diva!!

More randomness...
So I have been "trying" to be better at baking and cooking (neither a strong point). I have to say I am quite proud of myself as I made home made donuts for the first time in my life and they even tasted good ha ha!

My sister in law Niki and I made these together and we were quite proud of ourselves.

I am not a baker or cook by any means...but I do try!

New hairdo

I FINALLY got my hair done...it was in need of major help. It is darker and it feels sooooo much better. Cole took this picture of Kent and I he was quite proud of himself...he did a good job =)

Weekend fun!

We went down to Cardston this past weekend for many reasons. It was a fun filled busy weekend and it went by way too quickly!

Russ's Birthday Celebration...

We decided to go out to the grave site Saturday morning since we got down there later on Friday than we had hoped. Saturday morning the weather was BEAUTIFUL! There was hardly any wind, the sun was out and the sky was blue. We went to the Dollar Store and got each of us a helium balloon. We each wrote a message on our balloons with a black permanent marker...

Tyson wrote: Happy 59th Birthday Papa, I love you! XO XO

Cole wrote: Happy Birthday Papa, I miss you very much and I love you!

Kent, Brynley and I wrote on ours as well and once we were done we talked for a bit.

Tyson asked " if Papa would get our messages, if the balloons would reach him in Heaven?" =)

We let the balloons go all at once.

The sky was SO blue we could see the balloons for a long, long time in the sky. The kids enjoyed doing this and asked if this was something we could do every year. We told them we would try and that that was a great idea =)

I am so glad we did this. Kent had me put pictures up of Russ on my facebook page on Friday as well. There were A LOT of messages that I read to Kent once he got home from work. It made him happy to know that other people were thinking of his Dad also and he really appreciated all the kind messages.

Cole Temple...Cole loved going to the Temple Friday evening with our ward Young Men's and Young Women's to do Baptisms for the dead for his first time. We dropped him off in Airdrie at 2:30pm to ride the bus down to Cardston with everyone.

Kent picked Cole up around 9pm at the Temple and he was smiling ear to ear. He had lot's to talk about and he had a good time. He said it was SO beautiful in there and that he felt the spirit very strongly. He also said he can't wait to go back and do some more.

I can't get over the fact that I have a child old enough to be in YM let alone old enough to go to the Temple now. It is mind blowing to me and I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around it still =) I am so glad that he loves to do these things. He truly does love YM and he says he enjoys church a lot more now and looks forward to going every Sunday.

Basketball games...We went to A LOT of basketball games while we were down. My nephew Austin is on the Junior Varsity team (I think that is what they are called). He played very well and every game was exciting to watch. They won all of there games by a LONG shot =)

Cardston has Cheerleaders and lot's of music playing on and off during the games. Brynley was in her glory dancing away to the music every time is was on. She was entertaining everyone in the stands. Every time the Cheerleaders did a cheer she was doing it right along with them. She was so dang cute!!! I was ticked I didn't have my camera OR video camera cause she was hilarious!

Thanks again Mom and Dad and Becky and family for letting us stay with you guys. The kids love being down there with their with everyone!!

Russ's Birthday

Today (Friday, March 5) is Russ's Birthday and it is our first one without him here. We are told all of the "firsts" without him are the hardest. We are going down to Cardston today for the weekend as Kent is wanting to go visit Russ's grave site.

Here are some miscellaneous pictures of Russ...

Kent, Tyson, Cole and Russ

Kent and his Dad

Russ and his brother in law Gary being silly

Russ holding Brynley just hours after she was born

Stanford Family 2009

Deb and Russ 2009

Russ and Bryn 2009

We love and miss Russ everyday! He is always in our thoughts.

Happy Birthday Russ!!

Cole going to the Temple...

We are also going down to Cardston because Cole is going to do Baptisms for the dead tonight at the Temple with all of our ward Young Men for the first time...he is SO excited! And we are SO excited for him as well...pictures to come =)

Bye to Russ and Family

Ok so I am sooooooo behind on my blog. I don't know what my problem has been lately, but to sit down and do it has been hard. Mind you not having much sleep and being exhausted all the time doesn't help either =) So here it goes...



My brother Russell and his wife Johanna and their 2 girls Jada (9 years old) and Paige (7 years old) have officially moved to Brandon Manitoba as of this past Friday (Feb 5th). Russell got a job transfer out to the TD bank out there...he is a Bank Manager.

They lived in Okotoks. We met up with them for dinner in Calgary Tuesday night (Feb 2) at Tony Roma's Resturant. It was nice to visit with them and have a chance to say goodbye. The food was DELICIOUS and the company was even better =) We wish them the best and hope to go visit them in their new home at some point.




Becky and Family...

My sister Becky and her family came up for a visit Thursday, February 4th until Saturday. They don't come up hardly ever so we were really excited to have them here.

Katie (4 years old) and Brynley (16 months old) dancing away in our kitchen. They had a BLAST together!!

They played and played...Katie is SO good with Brynley!

Brynley knows some sign language and so when she pats her belly that means PLEASE. So, Katie learned this and had fun doing it back to Brynley. They would just giggle as they signed to one another.

Katie and Brynley with their "blankies" all passed out on my bed after a long day of fun together.

The Leavitt's had come up as their oldest son Austin (15 years old) was in a basketball tournament in Airdrie. We were able to watch 2 of his games and it was great to be able to watch him in action.

Brynley's FIRST haircut (Friday, Feb 5, 2010)...

Becky is a hairdresser so we put her to work while they were staying with us. Brynley has some CRAZY hair and it gets LOT'S of knots in it since she has a little bit of curl in the back. Becky decided to trim it up to help out with that situation and even out the ends. Brynley did so good and just watched her show as Becky cut her hair.



Aunt Becky was VERY pleasantly surprised with how still Brynley sat. Becky also got a good tummy workout because of the way she was sitting while doing the haircut ha ha!

It was such a fun weekend having them here. The kids weren't happy to say goodbye!